Doxology

I was one cup of coffee low today at church. Unwise after "springing forward" the clocks last night. I went to the late service allowing extra time for the morning and instead of feeling ahead and victorious, I was slow and confused. The children were collapsed against me throughout the prayers. I tugged at their arms to stand and sing. We were going through the motions of a Sunday. It all felt fuzzy and dull. If I could have formed a coherent thought, I would have reminded myself there is value in being here, value in trying to worship even if I can't seem to fully engage. Then we sang the doxology. It was just like every Sunday before, piano forte after we offer our tithes, but somehow I was able to finally leave the fuzz of myself. The fullness of all the Sundays in all the years came and visited me at once. I remembered being small and standing beside my father in a big white beautiful church. Suddenly gratitude for years of being able to come and go through the motions overwhelmed me. I sang with so many voices, different even than ones I have sung with before, a small offering of praise. And God was finally big and I was finally small.

Here are a few fun pictures from our spring weather this afternoon. John Mac has spent hours in the sandbox with his cars and trucks the past few days. He loves it and comes inside an absolute mess. His older brother, on the other hand, will not even deign to play cars with him in the sandbox because he "doesn't want to get dirty".

And here is a shot I took of Hannah with her Daddy today. She is growing in personality every day! Today she pitched a fit when I left her in the nursery. She is nearing one and very much knows it.